• kaidyn carroll


Updated: Apr 4

As we confront the painful times in our lives, it is crucial to remember these moments are essential to the grieving process. Deteriorating on the inside may leave us with no hope, but hope may be the only true aid to working through depression. If we fail to acknowledge our feelings of despair, we may never reach the final stage of the grief - acceptance.

You're on your bathroom floor, excuse me, shower floor sobbing over an incident or a loss, thinking to yourself: how will I ever get through this? At this moment, the possibility of being okay with the circumstances seems almost impossible. That was me a month ago; it feels like it's the end of the world. At that moment, you may think nothing can make you come to terms with whatever it is, but if you're sad about it, that means you're in the grieving process, which means you will eventually make it to the final stage - acceptance.

As I sobbed for the fifth time in one day on my shower floor, I felt helpless. I felt like I had nothing left. I felt empty. It's valid to feel that way, but moreover, it sucks. However, it's so important to take time to go sob on the floor. As much as I thought, man, this is pathetic, I quickly realized it's not. We need to go sob on the bathroom floor, we need to make our way through the stages of grief, or we’ll never confront the acceptance stage. The depression comes right before acceptance, meaning you are almost there. Now it may take a week of crying, but on the other side are better days. Even though that may seem impossible at that moment, I promise better days are coming.

A little while back, I went for a drive. On this drive, I realized the bigger the lows, the higher the highs - it just takes patience. And with that realization came my acceptance. I accepted it sucked, yet it is a part of the process - I was finally ready to let go. I decided I was done fighting what was inevitable because, deep down, I knew this was happening to prompt something even more incredible. I didn’t know what it was, and maybe I still don’t, but I know one day it will all make sense. My hope for what may come within these next few months left me excited that day. Knowing I have no clue what it is, leaves it up to my belief for how great it may be. With my high hopes out in the universe, expecting only the best, I know only the best will come. Sometimes we have to learn to be okay with losing something or someone. With that loss, we may gain something incredible, something that seems almost too good to be true. It is all a part of the growth process.

We always hear people telling us that, and in the stage of depression, it is not what we want to hear - we want to be sad. So be sad and allow yourself to deteriorate on the inside for a few days because that pain will lead you to answers and realizations. Through all the pain, keep in the back of your mind a sliver of hope. Have hope in that you don’t know what's to come, and that may be scary because that could mean terrible things could arrive. However, as far as it could go in a terrible direction, know there are endless possibilities for moving in an incredible direction. It goes both ways; it lies in your belief. Stay strong through the depression stage, and on the other side may lie acceptance, allowing ourselves to face new opportunities. Allow yourself to feel because feeling is the only way to move through the stages. Work through to reach acceptance, keeping in mind the most important contributor to battling the depression stage - hope.

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